UNSOLICITED advice about my hair

Who TF asked for your opinion anyway about *my* haircare company?

OH MY GOD. 

A building security person popped in today to check the safety of where I live because it’s a new build. 

Cool. 

He asked what I do for a living. 

I said J+H. 

Him; oh that’s interesting, how long have you been in business?

Me: 9 years. 

Him: wow, long time. 

Me: mmmm. 

Him: do you employ anyone?

Me: no

Him: why?

***Firstly, there’s a difference between genuine interest and a stranger being polite and a stranger, who you don’t know prying. I’m not an open book, but for some reason I was caught off guard and thought cool, let’s chat. You’ll see why this was a mistake in a second***

Me: I’m good with how things are, I employed people in the past, I don’t need them now. 

Him: oh but you’d grow, so much quicker. 

***Did I say my business wasn’t growing? Does this stranger know anything about my business? Did I say I wanted his business advice, handyman?***

Me: I’m good. 

Him: no, but people like us, business owners. 

***LAD. I don’t know you. We are not the same. And I never put myself in the same bracket as fellow business owners. We all have different backgrounds and experiences and it is beyond presumptive to assume that because I have a limited company and because you random man have a business, are the same. WE ARE NOT. I didn’t say this***

Him (cont): we’re different, we can’t do what employed people do, working for someone else. 

Me: I appreciate what you’re saying, but I don’t know what you mean. 

***I wanted him to dig a hole here, and he did***

Him: You know, working for someone else, doing things their way. 

Me: Yeah, I couldn’t any more

***I did in fact last year work part time (admittedly for a month!), and hated it, but was very glad I scratched the itch to see if it was possible for me. It isn’t, I hated it***

Him: Yeah, so why haven’t you employed people then, you could invest the time and that was you get time back *waits, looking at me sagely with an overly pregnant pause*.

Me: I’m good. 

Him: You say that, but 

***Do I know this man? Did he know that I, or Jim + Henry existed before he walked into my house? NOPE***

Him (cont): You could make loads of money, there’s no ceiling here, don’t limit yourself when you’re so good at what you do and clearly passionate about the quality too. 

Me: I didn’t say I was limiting myself, or that there was a ceiling. 

Him: no, but if you’re happy what you’re doing fine, but some people are comfortable, and some want more. 

Me: that sounds like a dig. 

Him: no, no, it’s not personal. I just know that a woman who made a detangling brush now has made a lot of money and is killing it, I just mean you could do that. 

Me: With all due respect, you’re a man, I’m a woman, you have no idea what I have endured, whether or not in the past I have reached heights I won’t discuss here, the things I know about manufacturing and investment and retail and advertising and profit and margins. Instead, you hear me saying I love being a business owner, and I love that things have changed where I have changed my own business model and now ship 3 times a year. It works very well for me and I can ensure the quality of my product stays high without compromise because I am not burnt out, and I love that I can manage and remain hands on with my business because that is how I like it.

***I should’ve said: 

With all due respect, we don’t know each other and I don’t divulge my business plans, regardless of what they look like to other people on the outside, to strangers. Have a good day***

But I didn’t say that. I gave him chapter and verse. 

Why?

WHY DID I DO THAT?

He then said: Ok, I mean it’s all fear isn’t it. Fear is at the base of what a lot of us do and it holds us back. 

Me: Ok, cool, is the house sorted now?

Him: er, yeah, I’ve got to just check outside the front. 

Me: ok then take care. 

A reminder my loves, not everyone is bruising your ego, and even if they are, so what? 

Please get back to your day, your plans, your life. 

A stranger’s random comments affect the insecure self, but we’re past that (or at least, I’m still rebuilding my sense of self).

Roll on the next piece of unsolicited advice it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference (working on it!)